Grappling Towards a Sense of Community

written by Amanda Dube, student psychologist

There is an isiZulu expression that says, “Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu”, a person is a person through other people. Reflecting on a recent workshop with members of the unhoused community, I found myself thinking deeply about what this really means in practice. If our humanity is shaped through others, what happens when people are not fully seen, heard, or included within the communities around them?

During the workshop, I became increasingly aware of both the differences and similarities

between myself and the participants. While our life circumstances differed, there were shared ways of expressing emotions, navigating experiences, and making meaning of the world. This became visible through moments of humour, openness during activities, and the willingness to share personal experiences with one another.

Rather than reinforcing distance, these interactions challenged some of my assumptions and

reminded me how easily connection can emerge when people are willing to engage beyond

surface differences. One activity that stayed with me was the body mapping exercise. Participants were asked to outline their bodies and represent how they are perceived by others on the outside, and how they understand themselves on the inside.

“Body mapping activity"

Walking around the room, I noticed how I was not only helping others through the activity but also reflecting on my own experiences in ways that felt unexpectedly familiar.

One patron chose to let her “inner self” overlap beyond the outline of her body map. As we spoke, she explained that she is not a one-size-fits-all person, and that parts of her identity, emotions, and experiences often overflow into how she presents herself to the world. She spoke

about carrying this with her every day.

That moment stayed with me because it made me think about how often people are understood only through what is visible on the surface, while so much of their lived experience remains unseen.

As the workshop continued, connection began forming through small acts of openness asking for help, sharing ideas, and allowing others into one’s experience. The atmosphere slowly shifted and the space became more collaborative and comfortable for everyone involved. It reminded me that people are often more willing to participate when they feel heard, recognised, and valued within a space.

Reflecting on this experience also made me think about the different forms of community I have encountered in my own life. Having lived in parts of Soweto where community often felt

immediate, I remember neighbours checking in on one another, helping during difficult moments, and support being visible in everyday interactions. In contrast, I have also experienced environments where people live close to one another but remain distant, with very little interaction or willingness to engage. This contrast made me question whether a sense of community is shaped more by shared experiences, or by the willingness of individuals to respond to and support one another. A seminar discussion earlier this week around the bystander effect deepened this reflection for me. An example was shared of neighbours immediately responding to loud drumming in a suburban neighbourhood, yet remaining silent when the sounds were replaced with violent conflict between a couple. It made me think about how community is not only about sharing a space, but also about what people choose to respond to and what they choose to ignore.

Returning to the idea that “umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu,” I left the workshop understanding that a sense of community is not something that automatically exists, but something people continually grapple towards. When people are not fully seen, heard, or included, connection becomes more difficult, and individuals can begin to feel separate from those around them. Across the different spaces I reflected on in the workshop, in my own communities, and in moments of silence and response I was reminded that connection is shaped by willingness, vulnerability, and the readiness to recognise one another’s humanity.